I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
