The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
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