still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
