lets start a swedish sibling band together
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
