You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
