im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
