her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
