I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
