forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
