Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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