I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
