I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
