Your dad touched me again.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
