Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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