My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
