i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
