I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
