My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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