I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
