This is not my ceiling
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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