Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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