Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
