All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I didn't notice because vodka
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
