think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
