he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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