Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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