I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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