With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
So much Jack, so little girl.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
