A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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