take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
