dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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