Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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