At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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