We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
