A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
A bitchslap is in order.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
