mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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