I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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