you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
