if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
