I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
