I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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