Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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