so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
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