If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
