I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
