Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
