Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
