Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
