dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
