I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
